Sunday, July 26, 2009

HAHAHA something to finally laugh at :D

Anorexia. What are the pros and cons?

One pro is that since you're wearing extra layers of clothing to hide your alarming thinness from relatives, you'll rarely catch a chill and come down with a cold. You dress warmly, even in summer.

That's a pro.

A con is that you're hot from overdressing. So you sweat a lot. This is good for the deodorant industry, a pro for them.

Even though you make the decision not to eat, your body keeps eating anyway. Your body says, "okay moron, I'll just ignore you. I'll eat into your fat reserves (what little there is), at first, and after that's used up, start devouring your vital fluids."

Thus, your body cannibalizes itself.

If you carry this extreme behavior far enough for long die. That's a con, unless you have a death wish.

A pro is that since you're not eating, there is more food for those who do eat available in the supermarket.

Another pro is that since you don't waste time eating, you have more time to learn a foreign language, French for example.

A con is that many French people are already noted for their rudeness (watch the reaction you get by asking street directions in Paris in crude French with a Texas accent).

Adding more short-tempered people who are hungry and speaking French can only hurt. A con.

Except for Nero, Henry the Eighth, and Dick Cheney, most of the nasty tyrants down through history have invariably been thin. A con.

If you get thin enough, people can't tell if they're viewing you from the front, or the side. This can be a pro if you're trying to avoid somebody (they think you're coming towards them, when actually you're moving away).

Another pro is that when you get in the shower, there's less of you to soap, so the bar lasts longer. There are economic advantages beyond just saving money from not buying carrots.

A con is that the rise of eating disorders has produced feelings of superiority over and disdain for fat people. Americans already hate each other over politics, race, religion and class. Adding calories as an arrogant badge of honor makes us even more dysfunctional.

Of course, a pro is that hateful, prejudicial behavior, like someone saying, "you fat pig!"

This might result in someone who's obese getting mad and losing weight as an act of revenge.

Obesity is epidemic in America.

Americans are only interested in how they look, not what they think or believe. The dumbing down of America by posing and self-obsession is a con. But then again, if you're a vain narcissist who fixates only about how you look, you are hip with the times.

That's a pro.

You know the old saying, "don't be a square."

Now it's, "don't be round."

That's a pro if you're thin, a con if you're fat.


Q:How many pro-anas does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: 100.

1 to actually screw it in.

10 to say "OMG, I wish I had your willpower! I've been sitting in the dark for the past month!"

20 to to claim that they were "Screwing in my lightbulb last year, but then my parents stopped me when it was almost in and made me unscrew it... now it's completely dark in here! I need motivation to start screwing it in again!"

15 to take pictures from bizarre angles that make it look like they're screwing in their lightbulbs.

14 to post pictures of Nicole Richie and Mary-Kate Olsen in close proximity to light bulbs.

10 to argue over whether or not screwing in a lightbulb is a choice or the result of a psychological problem.

10 to claim that their lightbulbs are completely screwed in, even though they're sitting in a dark room with an unscrewed bulb sitting next to them.

11 to say that they had their lightbulb partially screwed in last week,but spent the weekend unscrewing it because they lost their will power.

2 to write poems about the goddess lightbulb that guides them on their quest for light. and...

7 to come along randomly and ask how they can become light bulb screwers too.


These are possibly the funniest things I've ever read. haha.

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