...lay waste to the world, and everything in it X

So, what do I do when I'm self-destructing and destroying everything I've touched? Promise myself not to eat until I'm done sufficiently hating myself. Wow, I'm insane and sick. Wowowowowowowow. I just want to sleep until these problems work themsleves out, if I try to fix anything it will just become worse. I don't fuck up often, being a perfectionist I live to be perfect, but when I do fuck up it's monumental and like a nuclear bomb exploding. No survivors or salvagable materials-- everything destoyed and obliterated. It's like I'm poison.